Key points
- In general, messages sent to you are yours to receive, read, organise, and keep.
- Choosing to have them filtered before you read them, and keeping the originals, is managing your own incoming mail.
- The messages are addressed to you, so how you receive them is generally a matter for you.
- Rules vary by country and situation, so this is general information, not legal advice.
A friendly note: This guide shares general information to help you understand your options. It isn’t legal advice, and it can’t tell you what to do in your own situation. For that, a lawyer or a free legal service is the best next step, and you’ll find some in Where to get help.
A question people often ask before using a filter is a fair one: am I allowed to do this? Can I run the messages someone sends me through an AI filter and keep the originals? In general, messages sent to you are yours to read, sort and keep, and a filter is one more way of doing that. The details can vary, so treat this as background rather than advice.
The messages are sent to you
When someone sends a message to you, it is yours. Reading it, sorting it, having a tool tidy it up, or keeping it is you dealing with your own mail. Using a filter does not change who the message was sent to.
Keeping the originals
People also worry about storing messages. Keeping the messages sent to you is normal and common; it is what your email provider already does. Retaining a clear, timestamped record of what you were sent is, if anything, the responsible thing to do when contact is difficult. Whether a particular record can later be used in a particular legal process is a separate question that depends on your jurisdiction and matter. In the US, our guide to text messages as evidence in US courts explains the basics. See how FenceChat works for what is stored and for how long.
Do you have to tell them?
Most people do not tell others which email app they use, or whether they sort or keep their messages. A one-sided filter works the same way: it sits on your side, on messages addressed to you, so the other person simply uses a normal address or number. FenceChat does send them a one-time notice the first time they write, saying their messages are processed by AI and stored. You can turn that off if telling them could put you at risk. Replies you send through FenceChat still end with a short “Sent via FenceChat using AI” line.
Where it can get more nuanced
- Recording phone calls, as opposed to text and email, is governed by separate and stricter rules in many places. FenceChat filters messages, it does not record calls.
- Court orders sometimes set specific rules about how separated parents must communicate. If an order applies to you, its terms come first, and a lawyer can explain what they mean for you.
- Workplace and business contexts can carry their own policies and obligations.
- Rules differ between countries and, within some countries, between states.
Where to get help
These services are free or low-cost. If you or someone else is in danger, call your local emergency number first.
Australia
Privacy
- Office of the Australian Information Commissioner Your privacy rights in Australia.
Free or low-cost legal help
- National Legal Aid Find free legal help in your state or territory.
- Law Council of Australia Links to each state law society, which can refer you to a lawyer.
If you feel unsafe
- Emergency: 000 Police, ambulance or fire, if you or someone else is in danger.
- 1800RESPECT Free, confidential counselling for family, domestic and sexual violence, any time. 1800 737 732.
United States
Privacy
- IdentityTheft.gov Federal help if someone misuses your personal details.
Free or low-cost legal help
- Legal Services Corporation Find free civil legal aid near you.
- LawHelp.org Free legal information and help, by state.
If you feel unsafe
- Emergency: 911 Police, ambulance or fire, if you or someone else is in danger.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline Free, confidential support, any time. Call 1-800-799-7233 or text START to 88788.
United Kingdom
Privacy
- Information Commissioner’s Office Your data protection rights in the UK.
Free or low-cost legal help
- Citizens Advice Free, confidential advice on legal and everyday problems.
- Law Society: Find a Solicitor Find a solicitor near you.
If you feel unsafe
- Emergency: 999 Police, ambulance or fire, if you or someone else is in danger.
- National Domestic Abuse Helpline Free, confidential support, any time. 0808 2000 247.
Frequently asked questions
Is it legal to filter messages someone sends me?
In general terms, you are the intended recipient, and managing your own incoming messages, including filtering and storing them, is ordinarily up to you. Rules vary between countries and states, so a lawyer can confirm how this applies to your situation.
Do I have to tell them I am using a filter?
FenceChat tells them for you, with a one-time notice the first time they write. You can turn that off if telling them could put you at risk. Replies you send through FenceChat still end with a short “Sent via FenceChat using AI” line. If a court order applies to you, its terms come first.
Is keeping their messages allowed?
Keeping messages sent to you is normal and common. Whether a record is admissible in a specific legal process depends on your jurisdiction and matter.
Is this the same as recording a call?
No. Call recording is governed by separate, often stricter rules. FenceChat filters text and email messages; it does not record calls.
Is filtering my messages like listening in on someone?
No. The messages are sent to you, and a filter only changes how you receive them. Nobody is listening in on a conversation between other people.