Cease and desist letter for harassment: how to write one in the US

A cease and desist letter for harassment is a written demand that someone stop contacting or harassing you. It is not a court order, so it cannot force anyone to stop. It puts your demand on the record, which can help if you later report the person or seek a restraining order.

This guide is for people in the United States. It covers when a letter helps, what to put in it, a sample you can adapt, how to send it and what to do next. Laws differ from state to state, so treat this as general information, not legal advice. An attorney or a local legal aid office can tell you how the rules work where you live.

What a cease and desist letter is, and what it is not

The Legal Information Institute at Cornell Law School describes a cease and desist letter as a letter that describes the alleged misconduct and demands that it stop. It notes the letter is non-binding and has no legal effect on its own. It is often sent so it can be used as evidence later if the conduct continues.

Ignoring the letter is not, by itself, breaking the law. But it shows the person was told, on a known date, that their contact was unwanted. If the behaviour carries on, that can matter to police or a judge.

A restraining or protective order is different. A judge makes it, and breaking it can have real consequences. A letter is not a substitute.

When a letter helps, and when it does not

A letter works best when the person may not realise how unwelcome their contact is, or has something to lose by carrying on.

It is less likely to help, and may make things worse, when:

• the person has threatened you, followed you or been violent;
• they seem to enjoy any reaction from you, including a formal one;
• they are a current or former partner whose behaviour feels controlling or frightening;
• a court order about contact, such as a custody or protective order, already covers the situation.

Writing it yourself or using an attorney

You do not need an attorney to send a cease and desist letter. For low-level, persistent contact, a short letter in your own name may be a reasonable first step.

A letter on an attorney’s letterhead usually carries more weight. It shows you have taken advice and are prepared to act. An attorney can check the letter will not cause you problems later, and can receive any reply for you. Consider one if the harassment is serious, if it involves your job or business, or if court action is likely.

If cost is a barrier, the Legal Services Corporation has a tool to find a legal aid organisation near you. Legal aid offices help people on low incomes, and eligibility varies by office.

What to include in a cease and desist letter

A good letter is short, calm and specific. Aim for one page. Include:

• Your name and the date. Think about which address you show. If the person does not know where you live, consider a PO box or your attorney’s address.
• The person’s name. Address it to them directly.
• The facts. When it started, how they contact you, and roughly how often. Give dates where you can, for example “47 texts between June 3 and June 20”.
• The behaviour that must stop. Name it plainly: calls, texts, emails, social media messages, visits to your home or work.
• A clear demand. Either stop all contact, or limit contact to one named channel for one named purpose.
• What you may do next. For example, report to police, apply for a restraining order or speak to an attorney.
• A statement that you are keeping records. It makes clear the contact is being documented.

Leave out insults, history and long explanations. Write as if a judge might read it one day.

Sample cease and desist letter for harassment

Adapt this sample to your situation. Replace everything in square brackets and delete any line that does not fit. It deliberately cites no state law; if you want a law referred to, ask an attorney.

How to send it and keep proof

Send the letter in a way you can prove later. USPS Certified Mail gives you proof that you sent it and shows when it was delivered or a delivery attempt was made. Adding Return Receipt gets you a delivery record with the recipient’s signature, by email or on paper. Check current options and prices on the USPS extra services page.

Many people also email a copy for a second, timestamped record. Keep a signed copy of the letter, the mailing receipt, the tracking number and the Return Receipt. Back up your record of the contact somewhere other than your phone.

What to do after you send it

Expect silence, a stop, or an angry reply. Plan for all three.

1. Do not reply to provocation. If they answer with insults or argument, you do not need to respond. Your letter already says what you want.
2. Keep recording everything. Contact after the letter is often the most useful part of your record. Note dates, times, channels and what was said.
3. Escalate if it continues. You can make a police report, especially if there are threats. You can also ask a court for an order.

States have their own processes for orders against someone who is not a partner or close relative. In California, for example, a civil harassment restraining order can be made against a neighbour, landlord, co-worker or more distant relative. It can cover harassment, threats and stalking, including online, and can order no contact. There, partners, exes and close family need a different kind of order. Your local court’s self-help centre can explain the options where you live.

Examples: work, neighbours, an ex and a business

A co-worker or former colleague

Report harassment by someone at work to your employer or HR first, and keep a copy. A letter may help with a former colleague who keeps messaging, but get advice before sending one to a current co-worker.

A neighbour

A neighbour who keeps calling, leaving notes or turning up at your door is a common case for a letter. Keep it focused on contact, and deal with any property or noise dispute separately.

An ex-partner

Be careful here. A demand letter can provoke someone who is controlling or volatile. If you share children, a custody order may already say how you communicate, so check it or ask an attorney first. If you feel unsafe, talk to the hotline or police before sending anything. Our guide on when an ex won’t stop contacting you has more options.

A customer or client

Businesses send these letters too, for example to a customer who abuses staff by message. Name one channel for genuine business and say other contact will not be answered. See our guide to dealing with abusive customers.

How FenceChat fits

Sometimes contact cannot stop completely, for example with a co-parent or a client with an unpaid invoice. Your letter can then name a single channel for necessary contact.

FenceChat can be that channel. You give the hostile sender a FenceChat email address, or a FenceChat number on SMS plans, instead of your own. Their messages are filtered before they reach you: hostile language is filtered out and the practical information comes through. Every untouched original is kept, timestamped, in your encrypted Archive. The first time they message, they receive a one-time notice that messages are processed by AI and stored.

FenceChat does not stop anyone harassing you or decide legal questions. It removes the hostility from what you read and keeps a complete record if you need to take the next step.