Who gets the dog after a breakup? Shared pets, leases and money

For many people the hardest part of a breakup without children is the dog. Or the cat, the lease with both names on it, or the money one of you lent the other. These things keep you in contact after you would rather not be, and they are often where the arguments happen.

This guide explains how Australian law treats pets after a separation, and how to handle the shared practical things calmly. It is general information, not legal advice. A family lawyer or Legal Aid can explain how it applies to you. In the US, family law is mostly state law, so how pets are treated depends on your state; a family law attorney or free legal aid (LawHelp.org) can help.

How the law treats pets after separation

From 10 June 2025, changes to the Family Law Act mean that when married or de facto couples separate, pets are treated as companion animals rather than simply property. If a court has to decide, it can:

• order that the animal goes to one person, or
• order that it be sold.

It cannot order shared care or “custody” of a pet. You can still agree to share care between yourselves; a court just will not enforce it.

When deciding who keeps the animal, a court considers things like how the animal was acquired, who owns and has it, who has cared for and paid for it, any attachment the children have to it, each person’s ability to care for it in future, and any family violence involving the animal, including threats to harm it.

If you were not married or de facto

De facto status under family law usually needs a relationship of at least two years, though there are exceptions, such as having a child together. If you were dating or living together for a shorter time, the family law rules may not apply, and the question becomes an ordinary one of ownership:

• Who bought or adopted the animal, and whose name is on the receipt or adoption papers.
• Microchip and council registration: useful evidence, though not the final word on ownership.
• Who paid for food, vet bills, insurance and training.
• Who has cared for it day to day.

Gather these records before the conversation, not during it. LawAccess NSW (1300 888 529) or your state’s legal aid service can tell you where to go if you cannot agree.

Agree it, then write it down

Most people sort pets out without lawyers. Whatever you agree, put it in writing, even as a simple email both of you reply “agreed” to:

• who keeps the animal, or the shared care pattern if you agree on one;
• who pays for what (food, vet, insurance), and how;
• where and when handovers happen;
• what happens if one of you moves or can no longer care for it.

If you have a property settlement, a lawyer can include the animal in it.

Shared leases and money owed

The same approach works for the other loose ends:

• A shared lease: talk to the landlord or agent early about one of you taking over the lease or ending it. Tenancy rules differ by state; the NSW Tenants’ Union and your state’s fair trading body can explain your options. In the US, tenancy rules vary by state too.
• Money one of you owes the other: set out the amount, what it was for, and a simple repayment plan in writing.
• Shared bills and accounts: close or transfer them, and agree who pays the final bills.

Keep the conversations short and on record

Pets and money bring out strong feelings. Keep messages about them practical:

• One topic per message. Do not mix the dog with the bond and the past.
• Use email where you can, so there is a clear record of what was agreed.
• Reply to the practical point and ignore the rest. Our guide on responding to angry messages has examples.

When the messages get nasty

If every handover or bill turns into an argument, give your ex a FenceChat address or number to use instead of your own. You will still get the practical details about the dog, the lease or the money, without the rest.

FenceChat gives you a separate email address and, on the Protected and Legal plans, a separate mobile number to give the other person instead of your own. Their messages are filtered before they reach you: the practical information comes through and hostile language is filtered out. The untouched original is kept in your Archive, timestamped, in case you ever need it. They do not need an app or an account, and you never have to share your real number or address.